THEY PICKED ME! GIVE ME A MOE +/-3.5% W/95 PROBABILITY OR GIVE ME DEATH

Hello.

May I speak to the head of the household, please?

You from the IRS?

No, I'm calling from McCrunchersome Public Opinion Research Associates. We are surveying Texans about their political attitudes on the upcoming election.

Count me in. I dig politics.

Okay, a few preliminary questions. Are you a regular voter.

Yes, I have a very high fiber diet.

Uh, have you voted in the past three elections?

Yep.

Now, would you consider yourself a Democrat, a Republican, a member of another party, or an independent voter.

More or less Republican.

Okay, do you vote in the Republican primaries?

Didn't in 1986. But since then.

Okay, did you support George W. Bush in the last election?

Yeah. And the one before that and the one before that and the one before that.

On a scale of one to ten, with ten being the best and one being the worst, how would you rank President Bush's job performance?

Nine.

Really?

Really.

Okay, have you voted early in next week's primary elections and if not, do you plan to vote?

Wouldn't miss it for the world.

And which Republican candidate will you be supporting, John McCain, Mike Huckabee, Ron Paul, or another candidate?

Who said I was voting for a Republican candidate?

Please allow me to ask the questions. I am a highly trained telephone solicitor. For whom do you plan to vote?

Barack Obama.

Sir, you do know that his name appears on the Democratic ballot?

Of course. I'm not as dumb as people think.

So you plan to vote in the Democratic primary?

Dude, do I have to draw you a picture? Of course.

Okay, I'm going to ask you some questions about your political views that we're asking all self-described Obama supporters.
From a political perspective, which of the following celebrities do you most closely identify with:

Barbara Streisand
Michale Moore
Rosie O'Donnell
Larry David
Jay Leno
Charles Barkley
Clint Eastwood
Bruce Willis
Chuck Norris
Rush Limbaugh
Ann Coulter

Man, probably right in there with either Eastwood and Willis.

What issues are most important to you this election?

I'm looking for hope, change, and a leader who is fired up and ready to go.

Do you think Obama is addressing these issues?

Are you calling from one of those boiler rooms in India?

Topeka, Kansas. But I get your point. Dumb question.
Now thinking about Obama, some have questioned his experience in national elected office. Do you think he can be an effective leader from day one?

Yes He Can.

Are you aware that he's a 46-year-old liberal from Chicago?

I heard about that.

Are you aware that he's for leaving Iraq, nationalizing health care, raising taxes, and having the federal government give away more free stuff?

I disagree with him on those particular points, but that's okay. None of that is gonna pass or anything. But I do want a country willing to break down barriers.

You mean the first black president?

No. The first cool president.