WHEN YOU GOT TATI SANTIESTEBAN AND BOBBY JOE GLASGOW WITH YOU ...

It doesn't seem to be going well

J.R. Labbe

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Star-Telegram/Amy Peterson

Former President Clinton campaigns for his wife, Democratic presidential hopeful Sen. Hillary Clinton, at Vandergriff Park in Arlington on Feb. 24. About 1,500 people showed up.

The Clinton campaign sent out a news release on Tuesday touting a litany of "former Texas lawmakers" who are endorsing the New York senator as the Democratic nominee for president.

"Former," as in the fact that one of them completed his time in the Legislature in 1953.

It would be a safe wager that most would-be voters in Tuesday's Texas primary have never heard of the majority of these men: Former U.S. Reps. Jack Hightower and Bill Patman and former state Sens. Chet Brooks, Bob Glasgow, Ted Lyon, George Nokes, Tati Santiesteban, Pete Snelson, Carlos Truan, Jim Wallace and Murray Watson.

Shoot, I'd be surprised if the candidate herself ever heard of guys whose public service requires a history book to document.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm thinkin' that garnering endorsements from Geezers for the Gal isn't going to ignite voters who are interested in change.

That release was quickly followed by another: "Democratic Party icon B.A. Bentsen" is backing Clinton.

Who, you ask? Bentsen is the wife of the late Treasury secretary/U.S. senator, Lloyd Bentsen, and the aunt of former U.S. Rep. Ken Bentsen.

Mrs. Bentsen undoubtedly is a fine lady, but let's be honest: The Clinton campaign is reaching deep into the back bench to come up with supporters of note. Does an endorsement from someone who has been out of even a peripheral spotlight for decades mean anything to potential voters statewide?

It's just one more indication of how badly prepared the Clinton campaign was for a Texas primary upon which her future literally rests.

Clinton's handlers scheduled an outdoor rally in the Fort Worth Stockyards -- insert cattle joke of your choice here -- on Saturday from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m.

What else happens every Saturday at that time in the Stockyards? The Fort Worth Herd strolls through the area's bricked streets. The city's official cattle drive leaves behind more than just a glimpse at the Old West. (Insert manure joke of your choice here.)

The Stockyards decision followed a get-out-the-vote rally that put former President Bill Clinton in a city park in a very conservative North Texas suburb at 9:30 a.m. ... on a Sunday.

As a colleague of mine offered, in these parts we call that "Sunday School hour, and ain't nothin' happening then but kids gluing cotton ball clouds on pictures of Heaven while their folks examine what Paul really meant in his letters."

It makes you wonder: As a politician, there are few better than the brilliant if personally flawed Bill Clinton. Congregations far and wide love to have that man standing in the pulpit on a Sunday morning.

But his wife's campaign organizers couldn't locate a pastor anywhere in the Metroplex who would step aside for 10 minutes while Bill addressed the flock?

Today, he who wants to be first fellow come January 2009 is back in Texas. A Thursday afternoon news release from Hillary's campaign announced that he'll make Sunday stops in Houston, Beaumont, Marshall, Wichita Falls, Abilene and College Station. Details about exactly where he would be in each city weren't available by the time this column went to press.

Let us review: Bill Clinton in Wichita Falls, a city in which one TV station ran a news report in late January questioning whether John McCain was too liberal for local voters.

Bill Clinton in College Station, home of Texas A&M University and its Corps of Cadets. In the 2006 Princeton Review, Aggieland ranked as among the nation's schools at which students were "most nostalgic for Ronald Reagan."

And Bill Clinton in Abilene. The city on the "Friendly Frontier" ranked third most conservative out of 237 U.S. cities with a population of more than 100,000 in a 2005 nationwide study released by the nonpartisan Bay Area Center for Voting Research.

Makes you scratch your head, don't it?

But Friday morning's news release was proof that Hillary's camp has circled the wagons so tightly that not even fresh air is getting in.

"Senator Obama has campaigned hard in [Texas, Ohio, Rhode Island and Vermont]," the release said. "He has spent time meeting editorial boards, courting endorsers, holding rallies, and -- of course -- making speeches.

"If he cannot win all of these states with all this effort, there's a problem. Should Senator Obama fail to score decisive victories with all of the resources and effort he is bringing to bear, the message will be clear."

Pardon the mixed metaphor, but talk about trying to spin the monkey onto your foe's back: If he doesn't win all four states decisively, we all know what that means! (Insert ominous musical chords here.)

And what would it mean? That she's only going to lose by a little, rather than the old-fashioned Texas butt-whuppin' that everyone is anticipating.

jrlabbe@star-telegram.com
Jill "J.R." Labbe is deputy editorial page editor of the Star-Telegram . 817-390-7599

WITH FRIENDS LIKE THIS, ...

My vote for Senator Barack Obama just got firmed up.

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Stumping for Clinton, Steinem Says McCain's P.O.W. Cred Is Overrated

by Niall Stanage | March 2, 2008

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AUSTIN, Texas—Feminist icon Gloria Steinem took to the stump on Hillary Clinton’s behalf here last night and quickly proved that she has lost none of her taste for provocation.

From the stage, the 73-year-old seemed to denigrate the importance of John McCain’s time as a prisoner of war in Vietnam. In an interview with the Observer afterward, she suggested that Barack Obama benefits—and Clinton suffers—because Americans view racism more seriously than sexism.

Steinem also told the crowd that one reason to back Clinton was because “she actually enjoys conflict.”

And she claimed that if Clinton’s experience as First Lady were taken seriously in relation to her White House bid, people might “finally admit that, say, being a secretary is the best way to learn your boss’s job and take it over.”

Steinem raised McCain’s Vietnam imprisonment as she sought to highlight an alleged gender-based media bias against Clinton.

“Suppose John McCain had been Joan McCain and Joan McCain had got captured, shot down and been a POW for eight years. [The media would ask], ‘What did you do wrong to get captured? What terrible things did you do while you were there as a captive for eight years?’” Steinem said, to laughter from the audience.

McCain was, in fact, a prisoner of war for around five-and-a-half years, during which time he was tortured repeatedly. Referring to his time in captivity, Steinem said with bewilderment, “I mean, hello? This is supposed to be a qualification to be president? I don’t think so.”

Steinem’s broader argument was that the media and the political world are too admiring of militarism in all its guises.

“I am so grateful that she [Clinton] hasn’t been trained to kill anybody. And she probably didn’t even play war games as a kid. It’s a great relief from Bush in his jump suit and from Kerry saluting.”

To the Observer, Steinem insisted that “from George Washington to Jack Kennedy and PT-109 we have behaved as if killing people is a qualification for ruling people.”

Other Clinton proxies, notably Black Entertainment Television founder Bob Johnson and a New Hampshire campaign chair, Billy Shaheen, have generated controversies with their criticisms of Obama. By contrast, Steinem told me the Illinois senator was “an intelligent, well-intentioned person.” She added: “I would like very much to see him be president for eight years after Hillary has been president for eight years.”

But she also opined that “a majority of Americans want redemption for racism, for our terrible destructive racist past and so see a vote for Obama as redemptive.” Then, using a term for the mass killing of women, she added, “I don’t think as many want redemption for the gynocide.”

“They acknowledge racism—not enough, but somewhat,” Steinem continued. “They would probably be less likely to acknowledge that the most likely way a pregnant woman is to die is murder from her male partner. There are six million female lives lost in the world every year simply because they are female.”

Steinem has been a Clinton supporter for several years—even though, as she reminded me, she protested against Bill Clinton’s welfare reforms outside the White House. Her support for the former First Lady has become more high-profile of late. She penned a January op-ed for the New York Times backing Clinton and asserting that “gender is probably the most restricting force in American life.” She was also one of the women’s rights activists who signed a February 15 letter published on the Huffington Post that insisted, “It’s time for feminists to say that Senator Obama has no monopoly on inspiration.”

Yesterday’s event, billed by the Clinton campaign as “One Million for Hillary with Gloria Steinem,” was one of several appearances scheduled for the veteran feminist across Texas as Tuesday’s primary looms. It was held in a downtown music venue and was attended by around 200 people, the vast majority of whom were women. Before Steinem spoke, two Clinton campaign ads focusing on female support were shown, to applause.

In her speech, Steinem argued that there was a major sexist component to the murmurs from some quarters suggesting Clinton should abandon her presidential quest.

There is, she said, “a great deal of pressure at play for her to act like her gender and give in.” Several shouts of “No!” came from the crowd. Steinem went on: “It’s a way of reinforcing the gender roles, right? Men are loved if they win and Hillary is loved if she loses…But maybe we shouldn’t be so afraid of an open convention that actually decides something. After all, it was an open convention in New York City that gave us Abraham Lincoln.”

Steinem’s speech offered, Letterman-style, ten reasons why she was supporting Hillary. Most were serious, though one of the more flippant was “We get Bill Clinton as Eleanor Roosevelt.”

Steinem, like any good politician, also made sure to praise her surroundings. True to her own spirit, though, she did so in less decorous terms than any candidate for office would dare.

Other than Austin, she said, “there is no community in the whole world that understands how to include everybody, how to be serious and have a good time at the same time, how to be fan-fucking-tastic” quite so well.

UPDATE: The Clinton campaign sends over the following statement from Howard Wolfson: "Senator Clinton has repeatedly praised Senator McCain's courage and service to our country. These comments certainly do not represent her thinking in any way. Senator Clinton intends to have a respectful debate with Senator McCain on the issues."

CALL AT 3 :00 AM

Hello.

Uh, can I talk to Bill?

Who is this?

Crystal.

What do you want?

Your husband, bitch! Give him the phone.

(background noise: "Hillary, what's going on? It's 3 in the morning.")

Some skank named Crystal wants to talk to you.

I'll get it in the other room. You go back to sleep, my love.

Sorry, Crystal. She wasn't supposed to be home this month.

That's okay. Can me, you and your money hook up in the city tomorrow.

Sure. See you around 3 p.m.