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Dear Billy Clyde:
I am most grateful for you support. It means a great deal to Michelle and me, and we value the trust you have placed in us. Win, lose, or draw, we will always cherish you support.
But for the sake of humanity, please STOP telling people you support me. It's.Not.Helping.
There seems to be a consensus in the campaign that your "talents" would best serve my campaign in a behind the scene capacity. You can fly with me on my plane. Just don't think we are going to walk down to the tarmac together. We both share the same desire: for me to become Leader of the Free World. Your counsel will be very important in this journey. Don't f*uck it up by being too, uh, out front on my behalf.
Because of the kindness of hundreds of thousands of grassroots citizens who love their country and yearn for a better, brighter tomorrrow, I have raised roughly $368 million dollars in the past six weeks -- most of it from people sending 50 or a 100 bucks. I'll give you two million if you'll stop telling people how much you support me.
Texas may turn out to be the deciding state in this race. For that reason, I seek your assistance in my home state of Hawaii for the month. All expenses paid. Have some fruity drinks with miniature umbrellas and eat coconut shrimp all day long. It's on me. Just stay away from Texas and be quiet.
Michelle and I had a heart-to-heart discussion yesterday, and we concur: You can run the Small Business Administration or the Security and Exchange Commission -- your choice. In return, we simply ask that you leave Texas for a while. You will really like Hawaii.
Thanks for everything, my friend. See you in Honolulu.
With warmest personal regards,
Barack Obama
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